What To Write On A Flower Card For A Friend What to Say, When You Don’t Know What to Say

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What to Say, When You Don’t Know What to Say

When my mother died, I received a card from a friend that touched me so deeply that I still remember it 15 years later. The card was humorous and the message he wrote was the perfect balance of empathy, humor and reality. You see, Chris lost his father about a month before I lost my mother and he knew full well what I was going through. This card was the cornerstone for the development of the website I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to encourage people to be considerate and support their friends and family when they are going through a great loss. The topic of death is difficult and many people “freeze” when the topic is brought up. Our website is dedicated to helping people find the words when you don’t know what to say.

Put your heart into it. There are many ways to express your deep concern and support for a friend or family member when they have lost a loved one. I’ve found that when you put your heart into what you write, it makes a big difference. One of the cards I received simply said, “I just wanted you to know that I’ve been thinking about you all week and will be praying for you.” It was from a friend’s mother who I didn’t know very well, but I was so touched that she took the time to send a card. I could feel the love and sincerity in the message and it left a lasting impression on me.

Know your audience. People have many belief systems when it comes to death, grief and the burial process. A person’s religion, culture, family experiences, personality, age, and gender can influence how they deal with the grieving process. It’s important to consider these factors and not discount the person’s feelings or beliefs. This is not the time to “pin” someone. It’s time to reach out and open your heart.

Offer your support. The most important thing you can offer someone who is grieving is your support. My friend Michele sent me this message after my mom died, “We’ll be there to do the things you can’t” and she really was. She helped make the phone calls to my family the night my mom passed away, was there for the funeral mass, and was there for all the ups and downs as I recovered from this great loss.

I’ve found that most people appreciate knowing that you care about them and are there to support them. A simple message of encouragement like this can make a big difference: “Please know that I am willing to help you in any way you need during this difficult time. I would love to bring your family dinner or take you out for coffee if you ever need to talk. “

My ex-roommate used to send me cards for my mom’s birthday as a reminder that she was thinking of me. My aunt sends her sister-in-law a card on the anniversary of her son’s death just to let her know she’s not alone.

I deeply appreciate all the love and encouragement I have received from my friends and family through the many losses in my life. My greatest hope is that everyone receives such deep support when going through a loss.

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