What Is The Relationship Between A Bee And A Flower Sex, Ego, and Love

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Sex, Ego, and Love

This article is about love and sex between people in relationships. The ego is alive and well in personal relationships and most of the time it is affected or activated. The purpose of this article is to observe how our ego binds itself in close emotional and physical relationships. In the end, you will find exercises to help you be full of love and tenderness.

Our ego tries to help us win love and enjoy sex. Our ego tries to protect us from rejection, dominance, emotional pain and insecurity that can occur in love-sexual relationships. There are many variations of ego attachment that include, but are not limited to, pleasure-seeking, longing, chasing, possessiveness, jealousy, thwarted love, and obsessions. I will not attempt to psychoanalyze all the ways in which the human ego can become attached to love and sex. I want you to take an honest look at your patterns and limiting beliefs around intimacy. By doing so, I hope you will increase your joy and satisfaction in life and love.

SEX

Humans were created to be loving sexual beings. After all, we are not like a flower that needs a bee to pollinate it. Each person must find the truth that best guides his/her way of living, loving and being loved. Sometimes our ego gets confused by society’s pressure to aim high. We are a bit more like a peacock trying to attract a partner with its colorful feathers. You can see from the peacock example that nature also has a bit of ego involved in the courtship process.

Some concepts in this article are general and may not apply from other cultural perspectives or customs. The basic generalization is that we all want or need love, companionship and closeness. Even babies do better when they are held and touched. Being accepted, feeling like you belong and having close contact with others are typical human needs. People have a desire to be accepted (appreciated) and this affects our ego. It’s nice when we connect with someone in a tender, sexual, and meaningful way, but it can be very painful when things don’t go well.

EGO

Here are some generalizations about the differences between the male and female egos: Men are attracted to physical characteristics. Women are attracted to indicators of success. Men are less emotionally involved in sex than women. Women cannot separate their heart when they are making love with someone. Men need the chase (seeking and conquering) in order to make long-term commitments. Women choose their partners and start new relationships with a long-term commitment in mind.

These concepts are associated with the beginning of the homo-sapien species when men most likely chose partners based on their physical ability to bear children and women chose partners based on their strength and ability to provide food and shelter. What are some other differences between men and women that you are aware of? What evidence do you see that these concepts can change with new times and new generations?

LOVE

How we were indoctrinated into love as young children is very important to how we function as adults. Early love is conditioned by the way we were nurtured. Did we have adequate food, shelter and clothing? Did we have an environment conducive to growth, play and natural development? Did we receive the appropriate touch and physical comfort when we needed it? Were we loved, cared for, protected and treated with respect at an early age? Or has our innocence been damaged by unhealthy or unwitting caregivers? Have we had the opportunity to discover our innate tendencies to share love, or have we been caught in a web of misunderstandings and inappropriate teachings by the harmful actions (conscious or unconscious) of the adults around us?

In his book The 5 Languages ​​of Love, author Gary Chapman helps us see how we learn to receive and give love. He teaches the different ways in which people express their love for others and the ways in which they feel loved by others. It is based on the previously mentioned early childhood conditioning. Gary doesn’t indulge in the languages ​​of dysfunctional love, but I suspect there are a few of those out there.

Here’s a quick checklist to check if your ego is bound (and possibly distorted) in the areas of love and sex.

Do you feel more worthy of love and sex when your body is fit and attractive, and less worthy if you are not?

Do you suppress your attraction to others when you think they are out of your league or beneath you?

Do you base your love on the income, social status or assets of your partner or potential partner?

Are you looking (consciously or unconsciously) for someone who looks like one or both of your parents?

Do you seek approval and validation from a loved one and get angry if they don’t give it to you?

Are you looking for someone perfect?

Do you long for a lover who is unavailable to you and reject one who is available?

Do you fall into relationships where the “I want you – I don’t want you” game takes place?

Do you choose people who hurt you?

Do you choose people based on how you feel about yourself (they boost your ego)?

Can you be in a relationship with someone who is different from you?

Can you set healthy boundaries with the person you love (ie, mutual respect and appreciation; time, money, and space boundaries; personal rights and preferences)?

Are you overly jealous?

Are you afraid of being abandoned?

Do you keep your feelings and opinions to yourself for fear of causing friction and/or rejection?

Do you keep your distance and guard your heart to avoid pain (not allowing yourself to fall head over heels in love)?

If you identify with three or more of these patterns, you may need to do some ego transformation work. The main thing to remember is this: there are no right or wrong ways to look for love. However, the ego’s defense mechanisms can constantly block your chances of finding happiness by trying to avoid pain. The way you seek joy and fulfillment can be healthy or painful and even destructive. In the long run, you either get what you want or you don’t. Hopefully, your attempts at love will lead to deep, lasting love, if that’s what you want.

Here are some exercises to help you move to a more comfortable place in the areas of love and sex if you’re not feeling the quality of life you want:

1) Make a list of your earliest memories of feeling loved. For each memory, what was happening at the time? What made you feel loved?

2) Identify the decisions you have made and the strategies you have developed to reproduce the feeling of being loved.

3) Make a list of your early experiences where you felt rejected, confused and/or hurt by someone you love.

4) Identify the decisions you have made and the strategies you have developed to avoid the pain associated with love.

5) Think about what you can do to break away from your early decisions and strategies if they aren’t working so well.

6) Make new decisions and strategies to be honest, present and available for healthy love and sex.

7) Try them and observe how successful you are in attracting someone, how you feel with that person, how much enjoyment you experience and how sustainable your relationship becomes.

8) Above all, allow your heart to be tender, vulnerable and open. You may need to transform your ego to experience this state.

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